SNUGGLING WITH CHARLOTTE THE PIG AND HER ARMPIT – Tiong Bahru Zhong Yu Yuan Wei Wanton Mee

The Elusive Armpit

Ever since I’ve read about it, I’ve been intrigued and have been searching for Charlotte the Pig.

And what will I do when I find Charlotte? Nuzzle my snout into her armpit.

I decided to hunt for Zhong Yu Yuan Wei Wanton Mee in Tiong Bahru Market Food Centre where they serve their famous “Bu Jian Tian “ char siew in their wanton mee.

Literally translated, “Bu Jian Tian” means “never seen the heavens “ cut of the pig.

And which part of the pig doesn’t see the heavens ?

Yes you are absolutely spot on.

It’s the penis of the pig.

It’s not you sick pervert!!

What sort of sick low life pornos do you watch ? Do pigs even have penises ?

It’s the armpit you dirty swine.

Not only is it facing downwards all the time, it is clenched shut and festering with all manners of bacteria.

Grossed out ? Ok good so you wouldn’t increase my queue.

Not grossed out yet ? Ok the festering bacteria breaks down the muscle tissues to produce an oozing greenish slime which, over a period of 6 weeks and lots of chanting, produces baby weevils with ADHD.

The baby weevils then produces “noble rot” which further tenderises the armpit area into a sweetened green gooey mess.

For a 100 kg pig, you only get 2 kgs worth of armpit meat so they come in big demand.

Some of it is shipped off usually to the Barroso Valley in NorthEast Adelaide to make the world famous “Swine Heaven” noble rot late harvest sweet wine at the renowned porcos potest fugere winery at 14 Porcine Valley greater East Adelaide.

The rest are sold to Zhong Yu wanton mee to make char siew.

The Nuzzle begins

I happily jaunted off one Tuesday morning to Zhong Yu to nuzzle Charlotte’s armpit.

Dammit !! What sort of stall closes 3 days in a week ???!!!

In the good old days, the Hawkers only close one day in a week to honour Buddha or to go horse racing, or to plead to Buddha during horse racing.

3 days off now ???!!

What ? One day for a rejuvenation and wellness pampering, second day soul actualisation intermittent fasting and Oom meditation and plead with Buddha, and a third day to take the Yale part time MBA course on Advanced Predictive Jacobsen Equine economics ??!!

Damn damn damn !

The second Nuzzle

I came back another day and got into swine line.

After 20 minutes, I got my plates of wanton mee.

Charlottes armpit was just lying there on top of my wanton mee glistening and was promising all manners of titillation and unearthly pleasures.

I bit into it.

Oh my I think this has got to be the perfect cut to make char siew for wanton mee.

It was succulent without being outright fatty like pork belly. Because of the fat content, it seemed smoother but still with a firm chewy crisp bite.

The hype about the “Bu Jian Tian” cut is real, peeps.

Their noodles were airy and al dente.

What blew me away, though, is the special pale looking sauce that they spoon over your noodles before they hand it over to you.

That sauce was just incredible.

For the first time, I ate my wanton mee without chilli ( initially ) because that sauce was just so delicious.

That sauce and that armpit are what will henceforth make me a die hard fan of Zhong Yu.

The Sui Kow is also much nicer than most other places. It was chock full of fragrant minced pork and fresh tasting prawns.

If you’re looking for a more Hong Kong style wanton mee and a char siew that is more akin to Malaysian style caramelised Char siew (I actually liked Zhong Yu’s version which is less sticky and cloying), you need to hustle down to Tiong Bahru to try it to believe it.

Zhong Yu Yuan Wei Wanton Noodle

Address: Tiong Bahru Market, Seng Poh Road #02-30

Opening Hours: 10.30am to 3pm (or till the char siew is sold out), closed on Monday, Tuesday and Friday

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