DRUNKEN PORK TROTTERS – The Champ Kitchen at Jalan Solaris in KL

Fun and taste

The hidden message

I received a video from one of my makan kakis.

“Bro have you eaten at this place ?”

The video was a clip advertising this place where patrons were happily tucking their face into sick gelatinous pig trotters and everyone was smiling.

It was swine resort but nobody was wearing a bikini.

To the uninitiated, this message from my makan kaki seems like an innocuous enquiry, possibly interested in my well being and tenderly inquiring whether I have eaten well in the recent past.

But luckily for me, I am highly trained in double speak so it took me only a few seconds to decipher the hidden message :

“Oii move your lazy ass go check out this joint. And report back ”

I could have clarified if this what he really wanted.

But we are all getting on in age so it was unnecessary.

I just replied “Yes Sir”.

It’s not that near

So this place is at Jalan Solaris in the Hartamas area. It took a 30 mins taxi ride from my hotel at Ritz Carlton to reach here.

It was one of these low rise shop lots with rows and rows of restaurants. The sprawling shop blocks were all chock full of restaurants and the address I lifted off the Internet was obviously wrong as I couldn’t locate it after the taxi dropped me off.

I had to ask 3 different persons who had no clue where this place was but confidently pointed me in 3 different directions.

I’m not exaggerating. 3 different directions and one suggested I go upstairs.

Their unwavering confidence was amazing I have to give it to them.

Finally, when I had several amazing victory laps and all else failed, I approached a slightly hot Ah Lian (hot Chinese woman probably highly trained in the mysterious Chinese long lost art of seduction) and she knew exactly where this place was.

She told me to take a left, then a right and walk all the way down past several blocks until I could see the highway and to watch out for the signboard that says CIMB bank and the restaurant would be next to it.

I wanted to ask if she would make babies with me but thought perhaps she might be a small town girl, and that might be too forward. So I thanked her profusely, made some googly eyes at her and set off.

And her instructions were perfect. In no time I saw the red signboard for the bank which was next to a Watson’s and next to it was The Champ Kitchen.

The Inn

A bright facade greeted me – nicely air conditioned, marble- like floor and marble tables with olden style stools. Chinese yellow and Bright red lanterns dangled from the ceiling.

Pictures of their food adorned the walls and, further in, one could see a wall decorated with bottles of Chinese wine a hero swordsman would glug from in olden sword fighting movies.

Fun and taste

The strains of Er Hu music blasted with a plaintive woman wailing and whining about her long lost unrequited love with the panel beater from the next village.

I felt right at home. I waited expectantly for a one armed swordsman to take my orders.

No swordsman I’m afraid. Just this very small, very dark Malay looking man who approached me with a smile and gave me menus.

The order

Trip Advisor

I already decided that I wanted the flaming trotter but I asked nevertheless whether he would recommend that. And to my utter shame, he spoke to me in perfect mandarin and I had to struggle to keep up with him (he’s from Myanmar – I asked).

He said “of course ” and that particular burning pig was their speciality. I’ll be a swine not to order it (he was implying).

And true enough most tables were ordering it.

So I ordered a small burning trotter and, just in case I don’t die of a heart attack, ordered a lard noodle with it.

The Flame

The food arrived. It was clear to me that the trotter had been drenched in serious Chinese wine.

How do I know this? Well firstly the fumes from the unlighted trotter were already making me light headed and dangerously wanton.

If hot Ah Lian was here I would have unbuttoned my shirt and introduced her to my chest hairs.

All 7 of them.

He lit up my pig and let it burn for a while before dousing it with a small pot of dark broth. The aroma was intoxicating and quite aromatic.

The Taste

Wow the trotter was incredibly soft and gelatinous and almost sticky. The wine in the broth was robust- perhaps a little too robust if you were slightly unaccustomed to strong Chinese wine.

I finished the skin and drained the broth leaving half the meat behind.

I must say the noodle was good too. The pork lard tasted light and fresh, as much as lard can be. The shredded meat that came with it was tasty and the noodle was al dente and savoury.

But I left some of it behind too.

The Verdict

Would I come again ? Well not by myself because it’s a bit of a distance. But more importantly, the offerings were a little heavy for one person.

And it was good but not groin stirring, life changing, addictive compelling good.

But if I’m with a bunch of meat loving like-minded carnivores, I would recommend this place as the food is tasty and the menu is extensive.

Just look at the stuff I didn’t get to order (for eg the pig ears and intestines):

They also serve double boiled soups which looks interesting but you need numbers to order from their menu and pick a little from each of the dishes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s