KL ADVENTURES AND THE CANTONESE DILEMMA – Soo Kee and the damn van

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Restoran Soo Kee at Jalan Imbi is my usual fix in KL.

What’s there not to like – it’s an institution and has been there for an eternity.

It has a name in Chinese translating to “below the big tree Soo Kee” which people told me is a reference to their original location somewhere else which was under a big tree – Duh.

The premises looks like it has been frozen in time and they use old school melamine.

There are the quintessential grumpy old owners cooking and they are gruff in taking your orders. They are temperamental and artistic. I like.

They have a breakaway stall directly facing them called “Soo Kee Son (Meng Chuan)” selling pretty much the same stuff so there is the ubiquitous family feud and melodrama.

So happily I presented myself before the grumpy old lady owner wielding the spatula and struggled with the few Cantonese lines I rehearsed.

“Can you cook me a Beef Bee Hoon soup with 2 chicken eggs inside?” I stuttered. She frowned because it’s not their specialty which is beef hor fun and how dare I make a special order? What are you – a moron? You must be dumber than you look.

“How do you want to prepare the eggs” she barked and gave 2 options. “Keep calm” I told myself as my mind raced wildly to analyse the Cantonese and to do the mental translation. Shit – I have no idea what she just said about the 2 options. I didn’t recognise those words. She might as well have asked me if I wanted curly fries or whether to upsize my soup.

And I couldn’t do my stupid nod because it was an Option.

She let me blink for a few seconds with my mouth gaping. I tried to mimic the words of the first option she uttered and she frowned and muttered “not nice” making a sour face. Haha – was this a test and option 1 is the wrong answer, you idiot?

She muttered something and turned around to her wok which sounded a little like the second option. Ok so I guess I’m having the second option whatever it is. Could be frozen egg.

I’m not done yet so I waited there like a teenager being dismissed. She half turned and I quickly asked “can I have liver ?”

“How to cook” she barked and I did my deer in the lights blinking again. “Spring onions” she barked and I nodded vigorously. She turned around and I swear I had an insane moment where I decided to ask for options other than spring onions. She turned and glared and I feebly asked “what is nice?” She barked something and simply turned again while I nodded vigorously. No bloody idea what she just said. Turned out to be chives haha.

I drained the soup and abandoned half the Bee Hoon so it was a pretty healthy meal I thought . Protein rich and relatively Low carbo. I had swum in the ice cold pool in the hotel before dinner so the exercise to food ratio is good. I was pleased with myself as I jaunted off.

And Bam!! Someone had driven a van and blocked my way! What the……. Son of a …… Lok Lok van !

When you are in KL and someone blocks your passage with a Lok Lok van, the universe is trying to tell your something. So I tar-paoed.

I walked back in my Berms, singlet, slippers and swinging now a red plastic bag with my Lok Lok stash.

Ritz Carlton was not impressed.

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